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Audition: Boeing-Boeing

by Marc Camoletti,

Translated by Beverley Cross and Francis Evans

Directed by Jeff Wightwick

Audition Date Wed Tuesday 27th May  8pm

Show dates: 23-27^th September

If you are interested please email Moyra on [email protected] or just turn up. If you are interested but cannot make the dates please let us know so we can arrange to see you separately.

Synopsis:

Boeing Boeing tells the exploits of French bachelor Bernard and his lovely female flight attendants. Three flight attendants, to be exact, from three different countries: and they all believe they’re engaged to Bernard! In the past, Bernard has been able to juggle these women due to his detailed timetable of his fiancés’ flight schedules. When the schedules  change all of the women end up at his apartment on the same day, Bernard (with help from his bewildered friend Robert) struggles to keep them from learning the truth. Will the lying lothario be able to keep up this charade, or will a disaster occur……….

Characters

Bernard: self styled lothario

Robert: Bernard’s old school friend visiting Paris

Bertha: Bernard’s grumpy housekeeper, slightly older (good character part)

Gretchen: Flight attendant from Germany

Gabriella: Flight attendant from Italy

Gloria: Flight attendant from USA

This amateur production of “Boeing-Boeing” is by arrangement with Concord Theatricals Ltd. on behalf of Samuel French Ltd. www.concordtheatricals.co.uk

Audition: Right on Cue by Barry Lambert

Directed by John Want

Audition Date 7^th May 8pm

Show date 1^st to 5^th July in the Studio

If you are interested please contact Moyra on [email protected] or just turn up. If you are interested but cannot make the date please let us know so we can see you separately

Synopsis :

The Battersea Batterer is causing havoc for the understaffed local CID as he goes around the neighbourhood hitting people over the head with a billiard cue. The police are snookered at first but are assisted by a psychological profiler in solving the case.

Characters

Egbert Whalley: Detective inspector – long in the tooth, clever but cynical, seen everything, main role

Vernon Hitchcock: uniformed constable – younger, a bit dim but willing to give things a go, some great comedy moments

Dr Doris Boffin: forensic scientist – upright, educated, well informed, some lovely banter with Whalley

Julie Bright: profiler – new age psychologist, good comedy moments based on language and timing

However, we can switch the sexes, it makes no difference

By arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts

A Bunch of Amateurs by Ian Hislop and Nick Newman

From an original story by Jonathon Gershfield and John Ross

Directed by Anthony Kemp

Tues 29th April to Sat 3rd May

Tickets: Adults £15, Children/Students £12

Fading Hollywood actor Jefferson Steele arrives in England to play King Lear in Stratford. Unfortunately, it is Stratford in a sleepy Suffolk village and home of the Stratford players, a struggling am dram group trying to save their theatre from developers. This hilarious comedy is co written by Ian Hislop from Private eye and co writer of Spitting Image and Nick Newman.

This amateur production of “A Bunch of Amateurs” is presented by arrangement with Concord Theatricals Ltd. On behalf of Samuel French Ltd. www.concordtheatricals.co.uk

Audition: Passenger Written and Directed by Paul Reynolds

Audition Date: Tuesday 22nd April at 8pm

Show Dates: Tuesday 1st to Saturday 5th July 2025

If you are interested please contact Moyra Brookes on [email protected] or just turn up. If you are interested but cannot make the date please let us know so we can arrange to see you separately.

Synopsis

The play is about how we see people and who they really are (and the differences in reaction this causes with the audience) and about hope when all things seem to be potentially against you. It’s a parody of 21^st century culture and living with the constant cloud of social media, dating Apps, and electric vehicles. There are undertones of reflection on relationships and growing old (dis)gracefully. The individual characters hit off each other more strongly as the play develops and relationships shift at the same time.

The action takes place on a busy street, in a coffee shop, a bar, a Eurostar passenger train compartment and a lounge/bedroom

Characters;

Maisie; Slightly mousy, introverted and downtrodden mid 40’s, been unlucky in love and now has moved in with her considerably well-off cantankerous Mother in Highgate, N10 following the death of her Father last year. Maisie has been briefly married but has no children, has been more recently let down by a series of men and now looks upon her life’s goals as opportunities to speak about the psychology and behaviour of European domesticated felines at various conferences, rebuff men on Internet dating sites and drink lots of White wine, black coffee & Espresso Martinis.

Think Cher in Moonstruck pre-make-over. Something there but not sure how to release it

Andy;Archetypal man on the street, confident (outwardly), slightly flamboyant, natty dresser and someone who knows a small amount about most things but specialises in virtually nothing (other than failed relationships). He is recently separated from his long-term partner and is living in Southwest London with a ‘friend’ until he gets back on his feet. He is a Civil Engineer which he hates but he can’t find anything else to do that he ever lasts longer than a year at. His confidence and jovial banter hides an inner turmoil of self-loathing, depression, vulnerability and deep desire to find ‘the one’.

Think Andrew Ridgeley before the grey hair & paunch took hold

Mum (Beryl);Mum is a no nonsense well at heel Londoner who has seen and done most things in life and now wants everyone to just piss off and leave her alone (with her dog Roderick). Unfortunately, her daughter has decided it would be a great idea to move back in with her following the death last year of her swashbuckling go getter husband who died whilst hang gliding off a cliff in Tenerife. Mum hates most things in modern life including Tik Tok, X, people saying ‘like’ every third word, influencers, the French, the price of coffee and electric vehicles.

Ray the CoachRay is gruff, to the point and very tired of driving coaches (he’s been doing it for 40 years). He relieves the boredom of driving passengers on weekend city breaks by drinking to oblivion and doing his best to find a suitable female to shack up with for 24/48 hours. Unfortunately, his attempts with Beryl go horribly array. He is also a self-confessed racist and does not understand what ‘woke culture’ is let alone trying to spell it.

Patrice Patrice is a slightly flamboyant, tall, suave good-looking French guy in his late 20’s who works on Eurostar as a customer services assistant but dreams big, dreams of being in Moulin Rouge or starring as Josh Brolins body double.

Sing-A-Long Cinema: Grease

Saturday 5th April at 7.30pm

Tickets: Adults £12, Children £10

Film shown with song words for everyone to join in !

Audition: Dead Dad Dog by John McKay

Directed by Graham Botterill

Audition Date: Mon 31st March 8pm

Show Dates: Tues 1st to Sat 5th July

If you are interested please contact Graham Botterill [email protected] or just turn up.If you are interested but cannot make the date please contact us so we can arrange to see you separately.

Synopsis

Eck (Hector) has a great day ahead of him. He’s got an interview with BBC Scotland, that he’s going to breeze, followed by a hot date with the lovely Roseanne. But then his father, Willie, turns up and Eck literally cannot get away from him. What complicates the situation is that Willie is ten years dead!

Characters:

Eck: Mid twenties. Trendy aspiring Scottish media type, currently unemployed

Willie: Age around 50’s. A dead hoover salesman dressed in a loud, flared seventies suit, with a tacky wide seventies haircut, including big sideburns. He is both cheery and dour.

“an amateur production by arrangement with Nick Hern Books”

Sing-A Long Cinema: Frozen

Saturday 22nd February at 3.30 pm

Tickets: Adults £12, Children £9

Film shown with song lyrics for the whole audience to sing along!

Blue Fire Theatre Co Present: The Diary of A Nobody

by George and Weedon Grossmith

Adapted by Tim Shaw

Friday 31st Jan at 7.30pm

Tickets £15

Step into the whimsical world of Charles Pooter, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary!

Follow the hilarious mundane misadventures of a man who navigates the ups and downs of subarbia with a touch of comedic flair. Discover how the simple moments in life can spark laughter, reflection and a deeper connection to our own quirks

Audition Notice: Goldilocks and the Three Bears by tlc creatives

Directed by Michael Ayres and Samantha Potten

Audition Date: 16 July at 7.30pm

Performance dates Dec 10th to Dec 14th

If you would like to audition please contact Moyra on [email protected]

Characters

Goldilocks: Our heroine Female

Tomtom: A piper’s son Female (principal boy)

Anutie Septic: Aunt to Goldilocks and mother to Ray (Panto Dame) Male

Ray: Dim witted son of Anti septic, The comedy link man Male or female

Splinter: A royal woodsman: not very bright Male or Female

Choppit: Another Royal woodsman even dafter, Male or Female

Daddy Bear: Father of the bear family Male

Mummy Bear: Mother of the bear family Female

Babby bear; youngster of the bear family Male or Female

Queen Bee: The villain A wicked bee with dreams of woodland domination Female

Bee Minions, Male/Female

Kevin the wasp

Chorus of Villagers and dancers

A Double Bill in The Studio

Tuesday 12th to Saturday 16th November at 7.45 pm

Tickets £13

Cell Mates by Mark Seaman Directed by Iain Macfarlane

In “Cell Mates” young Terry Cole is entering the prison system for the first time. His youthful swagger is tempered by his apprehension about what lies ahead. His meeting with cell mate George Reynolds, who is serving a sentence for murder, has a profound effect upon him.

“By Arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts”

The Act of Living by Robert Scott Directed by Iain Macfarlane

In this moving play we encounter Tom and Evelyn who first met in 1942 when they were children during the war, and see how their relationship grew and changed. As an old man in 2013, Tom looks back across the years to re-live their time together

“By Arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts”

Horsley Live Music Club Presents:

An Evening with Slim Chance: Only 1 ticket left

Friday 1st November at 7.45pm

Tickets £25 plus booking fee

Founded by the great Ronnie Lane after he left the Faces, Slim Chance is still going strong, redefining rock and roll and continuing to live up to their name as the ultimate good-time band. The show features many of Ronnie’s classic songs – including Ooh la la, How Come and The Poacher plus a few surprises – a rare mix of bonhomie and fine musicianship.

The band now regularly performs as a quintet, including original members Steve Bingham and Charlie Hart, with fine support from some of the UK’s finest musicans – Geraint Watkins, Frank Mead and Jim Russell or Brendan O’Neill. The band came together (‘reformed and unrepentant’) back in 2010 following the successful 2004 Albert Hall Ronnie Lane commemoration concert.  Since that time they have played extensively round the country and released five albums, the latest of which was recorded ‘live’ in Sheffield earlier in 2024.

THE LEGACY OF RONNIE LANE
Whether it was working with the Small Faces, The Faces and Rod Stewart, or touring with his own travelling rock ‘n’ roll circus, The Passing Show, Ronnie Lane was a one-of-a-kind musician and songwriter. He embarked on the last stage of his career shortly after leaving the Faces, forming the band Slim Chance, writing some of his finest songs and recording several remarkable albums. Sadly, Ronnie passed away in 1997 – but the band plays on.

Bookham Light Operatic Society Presents:

Iolanthe By W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan

Directed by Keith White, MD Roger Wilman, Choreographer Gill Eve

Thursday 24th October to Saturday 26th October at 7.30pm & Saturday 26th October at 2.30pm

Tickets: Adults £16, Under 16’s £12

Strephon is half a fairy, engaged to Phyllis, a ward of court. He hasn’t told her of his fairyhood less it frighten her. Alas she sees him with a young girl, actually his mother as fairies never grow old, and heartbroken, she decides to marry one of two elderly baronets instead! As in true Gilbert and Sullivan fashion it all gets sorted out but with a lot of laughter, some tears and a Nightmare song along the way

To Celebrate 90 years of The Nomads, come to our OPEN DAY

Saturday 12th October, Tours at 12, 2pm, 4pm

Entry is free but please book a space on the tour

Experience the magic of theatre, learn about our history. Get hands on with lighting, Sound and Video.

The revolve will be in action and there will be displays of props, costumes , scenery and make up. The bar will be open to chat to members

HLMC is proud to present this superb tribute to the music of Steely Dan, Simply Dan an 11 piece band of top London session musicians.

Saturday 5th October

Tickets £30 plus booking fee

Doors open 7pm, show starts at 7.45pm

Stepping Out by Richard Harris

Directed by Nikky Kirkup

Tuesday 17th September to Saturday 21st September at 7.30pm

Tickets : Adults £15, Children/Students £12

Stepping Out is a warm and funny play about the lives of a group of wannabe tappers. The action takes place at a weekly tap class where we meet 8 mismatched characters all trying to put their best foot (or feet) forward. For all of them, this is their chance to get away from the normal hum drum of life. Friendships are formed, conflicts take place and their tap dancing improves week to week. So much so that by the end there is a grand charity show performance where the class have been transformed into a triumphant group of tappers.

This amateur production of “Stepping Out” is presented by arrangement with Concord Theatricals Ltd. on behalf of Samuel French Ltd. www.concordtheatricals.co.uk

Horsley Live Music Club Presents: Never The Bride

Saturday August 17th 2024. Doors open 7pm, Show starts 7.45, Show finishes 10.15

Tickets £25 plus booking fee.Advance tickets only, No concessions, No refunds

Horsley Live Music Club is proud to present Never The Bride –  true rock and roll royalty. A female-led rock band with amazing credentials, they have amazed and floored audiences, peer groups and critics alike over their 25 years of service.

Play In A Week present:

A Voyage to Nowhere By Josh Sadler

Directed by Brandon McGuire

Saturday 27th July at 7.30pm, Sunday 28th July at 2.30pm

Tickets: Adults £14, Children/Students £10

The Hidden Kingdom of Nowhere has rested silently on the bottom of the artic ocean for centuries. Its people the Nobodies live under the yolk of a cruel tyrant who stole their voices and trapped them there forever! That is until a violent storm sinks a passing ship of explorers right above the secret kingdom. Can our crew, led by the intrepid but incompetent Captain Lord Sir Tarquin Von Garble Blabbermouth, overcome sensational sword fights, battle electric eels, giant clams and magical mermaids to return the voices of the Nobodies and free them from their evil ruler? Will they ever make it home? Will the Captain ever shorten his name? The winds blow hard and the seas rise high this year for PIAW 2024

Parade

Book by Alfred Uhry, Music by Jason Robert Brown, Lyrics by Jason Robert Brown

Co-Conceived and Directed on Broadway by Harold Prince

Director Damien de Roche, MD Jamie Cordell, Choreographer Chloe Roberts

Tuesday 25th June to Saturday 29th June at 7.30pm and Saturday 29th June at 2.30pm

To book tickets for ESPA’s Parade please go to www.ticketsource.co.uk/east-surrey-performing-arts

This amateur production is presented by arrangement with Music Theatre International

All authorised performance materials are also supplied by MTI www.mtishows.co.uk

The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society’s Production of A Christmas Carol

by David McGillivray and Walter Zerlin Jr, Directed by Danny Sparkes

Tuesday 11th to Saturday 15th June at 7.30 pm

Tickets: Adults £15, Children/Students £12

In a festive mood the ladies of The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society mount another assault on the classics with their version of A Christmas Carol! This time they stick close to the story and know which side of the set the audience is on, but almost everything else goes wrong.

This amateur production of “Farndale Avenue….Christmas Carol” is presented by arrangement with Concord Theatricals Ltd on Behalf of Samuel French Ltd. www.concordtheatricals.co.uk

BLOS at The Nomad Theatre presents:

Monty Python’s SPAMALOT

Book and lyrics by Eric Idle, Music by John Du Prez and Eric Idle

A new musical lovingly ripped off from the film “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”

From the original screenplay by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

Directed by Stephen Taylor, Musical Director James Marr, Choreographer Samantha Potten

“SPAMALOT” is a hilarious parody of Arthurian legend, based on the 1975 film, “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” as they say “Always look on the bright side of life” and join the fun in Camelot!

Wednesday 22nd to Saturday 25th May at 7.30pm and Saturday 25th May at 2.30pm

“SPAMALOT” is presented by special arrangement with and all authorised performance materials are supplied by Theatrical Rights Worldwide (TRW) www.theatricalrights.co.uk