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Audition Notice

A Kitchen Sink Comedy Double Bill In The Studio

Audition Dates:Please Contact Elaine Burns to arrange an Audition Date for You Me and Wii

Show Dates: 11-15th November

Purgatory (Berkoff)

by Stephen Berkoff

Directed by Danny Sparkes

John, a middle aged actor. moves into a run-down East End guesthouse where he encounters romantic spinster Sarah. Will he be able to cope with the chaotic surroundings whilst trying to find love? The white van man staying in the next room and the crass landlady aren’t helping!

Roles:

Betty: landlady, typical digs landlady, (ghastly, intolerant but practical)

John: ‘resting’ classical actor, middle-aged, unsuccessful but still hoping

Sarah: romantic spinster who has ended up sadly in a lodging house but is still looking for better

Ted: (offstage) one of the landlady’s favourite tenants (whose main virtue is his blunt stupidity)

If you are interested or want information please email Danny Sparkes

[email protected] 

This amateur production of “Purgatory(Berkoff) is presented by arrangement with Concord Theatricals Ltd. on behalf of Samuel French Ltd. www.concordtheatricals.co.uk

You, Me and Wii by Sue Townsend

Directed by Elaine Burns

Vincent’s skiing on the Wii, Sheila is feeding her great-granddaughter and Kerry’s getting on with the ironing. None of them are planning on voting in the election, but when Selina Snow rings their council doorbell to canvas, perhaps she can change their mind….or can they change hers?

Roles:

Sheila: grandmother playing age 60s – feeding the baby.  A sympathetic character

Kerry: mother playing age 35 – doing the ironing but not downtrodden at all.

Vincent: son playing age 20s – spends all day playing with the Wii

Courtney: playing age 14- is looking at MSN Messenger on the computer.

Selina: local Labour MP playing age 40s – smartly dressed as she is campaigning.  Smooth       but tough underneath.

Mark: her aide, 40 or under, smartly dressed. Typical of his type.

If you are interested or want information please email Elaine Burns  [email protected]

An amateur production by arrangement with Nick Hern Books

Audition Notice

Cinderella written and directed by John Want

Choreography: Samantha Potten

Audition Dates: 22nd and 31st July at 7.30pm

Show Dates: Wed 10th to Fri 12 Dec at 7.30pm,

Sat 13th Dec at 1.30pm and 6pm, Sun 14th Dec at 2.30pm

The classic story of Cinderella

Characters:

Cinderella: Beautiful Daughter of Baron Hardup. Female

Buttons: Loveable comic, fun but dim. The Baron’s Servant, Male

Prince Charming (Principle Boy): Female

Dandini: Prince Charming’s closest aide, Male or Female

Baron Hardup: Henpecked husband of the Baroness, Cinderella’s father, Male

Baroness Hardup: The Evil Stepmother, Mother to the Ugly Sisters, Female

Karren: Ugly Sister, Male

Sharon: Ugly Sister Male

King: Dim but loyal ruler, besotted with his Queen, Male

Queen: From rags to riches nothing is too good for her son the Prince, Female

Paige: The King’s servant, Male or Female

Fairy Godmother: The most magical Fairy in the land!, Female

Baker: Buff owner of the Village Bakery with excellent buns, Male

Debt Collectors x2 : Bodgit and Scarper (1 scene in Hardup Hall) Male or Female

Mice x2 To pull the coach, one scene’ Male or Female must be able to climb through trap door

Villagers x4 (Two to be female)

If you are interested in auditioning please contact John Want by email on [email protected]

A Double Bill in The Studio

Tuesday 1st to Saturday 5th July at 8pm

Tickets £13

Dead Dad Dog by John McKay

Directed by Graham Botterill

A witty comic nightmare in which an unemployed, trendy young Scottish man is deceased father, who was a Hoover salesman in his prime. An offbeat comedy with a political edge

An amateur production by arrangement with Nick Hern Books

Right on Cue by Barry Lambert

Directed by John Want

The Battersea Batterer is causing havoc for the understaffed local CID as he goes around the neighbourhood hitting people over the head with a billiard cue. The police are snookered at first but are assisted by a psychological profiler in solving the case

By arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts

Audition: Boeing-Boeing

by Marc Camoletti,

Translated by Beverley Cross and Francis Evans

Directed by Jeff Wightwick

Audition Date Wed Tuesday 27th May  8pm

Show dates: 23-27^th September

If you are interested please email Moyra on [email protected] or just turn up. If you are interested but cannot make the dates please let us know so we can arrange to see you separately.

Synopsis:

Boeing Boeing tells the exploits of French bachelor Bernard and his lovely female flight attendants. Three flight attendants, to be exact, from three different countries: and they all believe they’re engaged to Bernard! In the past, Bernard has been able to juggle these women due to his detailed timetable of his fiancés’ flight schedules. When the schedules  change all of the women end up at his apartment on the same day, Bernard (with help from his bewildered friend Robert) struggles to keep them from learning the truth. Will the lying lothario be able to keep up this charade, or will a disaster occur……….

Characters

Bernard: self styled lothario

Robert: Bernard’s old school friend visiting Paris

Bertha: Bernard’s grumpy housekeeper, slightly older (good character part)

Gretchen: Flight attendant from Germany

Gabriella: Flight attendant from Italy

Gloria: Flight attendant from USA

This amateur production of “Boeing-Boeing” is by arrangement with Concord Theatricals Ltd. on behalf of Samuel French Ltd. www.concordtheatricals.co.uk

Audition: Right on Cue by Barry Lambert

Directed by John Want

Audition Date 7^th May 8pm

Show date 1^st to 5^th July in the Studio

If you are interested please contact Moyra on [email protected] or just turn up. If you are interested but cannot make the date please let us know so we can see you separately

Synopsis :

The Battersea Batterer is causing havoc for the understaffed local CID as he goes around the neighbourhood hitting people over the head with a billiard cue. The police are snookered at first but are assisted by a psychological profiler in solving the case.

Characters

Egbert Whalley: Detective inspector – long in the tooth, clever but cynical, seen everything, main role

Vernon Hitchcock: uniformed constable – younger, a bit dim but willing to give things a go, some great comedy moments

Dr Doris Boffin: forensic scientist – upright, educated, well informed, some lovely banter with Whalley

Julie Bright: profiler – new age psychologist, good comedy moments based on language and timing

However, we can switch the sexes, it makes no difference

By arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts

Audition: Passenger Written and Directed by Paul Reynolds

Audition Date: Tuesday 22nd April at 8pm

Show Dates: Tuesday 1st to Saturday 5th July 2025

If you are interested please contact Moyra Brookes on [email protected] or just turn up. If you are interested but cannot make the date please let us know so we can arrange to see you separately.

Synopsis

The play is about how we see people and who they really are (and the differences in reaction this causes with the audience) and about hope when all things seem to be potentially against you. It’s a parody of 21^st century culture and living with the constant cloud of social media, dating Apps, and electric vehicles. There are undertones of reflection on relationships and growing old (dis)gracefully. The individual characters hit off each other more strongly as the play develops and relationships shift at the same time.

The action takes place on a busy street, in a coffee shop, a bar, a Eurostar passenger train compartment and a lounge/bedroom

Characters;

Maisie; Slightly mousy, introverted and downtrodden mid 40’s, been unlucky in love and now has moved in with her considerably well-off cantankerous Mother in Highgate, N10 following the death of her Father last year. Maisie has been briefly married but has no children, has been more recently let down by a series of men and now looks upon her life’s goals as opportunities to speak about the psychology and behaviour of European domesticated felines at various conferences, rebuff men on Internet dating sites and drink lots of White wine, black coffee & Espresso Martinis.

Think Cher in Moonstruck pre-make-over. Something there but not sure how to release it

Andy;Archetypal man on the street, confident (outwardly), slightly flamboyant, natty dresser and someone who knows a small amount about most things but specialises in virtually nothing (other than failed relationships). He is recently separated from his long-term partner and is living in Southwest London with a ‘friend’ until he gets back on his feet. He is a Civil Engineer which he hates but he can’t find anything else to do that he ever lasts longer than a year at. His confidence and jovial banter hides an inner turmoil of self-loathing, depression, vulnerability and deep desire to find ‘the one’.

Think Andrew Ridgeley before the grey hair & paunch took hold

Mum (Beryl);Mum is a no nonsense well at heel Londoner who has seen and done most things in life and now wants everyone to just piss off and leave her alone (with her dog Roderick). Unfortunately, her daughter has decided it would be a great idea to move back in with her following the death last year of her swashbuckling go getter husband who died whilst hang gliding off a cliff in Tenerife. Mum hates most things in modern life including Tik Tok, X, people saying ‘like’ every third word, influencers, the French, the price of coffee and electric vehicles.

Ray the CoachRay is gruff, to the point and very tired of driving coaches (he’s been doing it for 40 years). He relieves the boredom of driving passengers on weekend city breaks by drinking to oblivion and doing his best to find a suitable female to shack up with for 24/48 hours. Unfortunately, his attempts with Beryl go horribly array. He is also a self-confessed racist and does not understand what ‘woke culture’ is let alone trying to spell it.

Patrice Patrice is a slightly flamboyant, tall, suave good-looking French guy in his late 20’s who works on Eurostar as a customer services assistant but dreams big, dreams of being in Moulin Rouge or starring as Josh Brolins body double.

Audition: Dead Dad Dog by John McKay

Directed by Graham Botterill

Audition Date: Mon 31st March 8pm

Show Dates: Tues 1st to Sat 5th July

If you are interested please contact Graham Botterill [email protected] or just turn up.If you are interested but cannot make the date please contact us so we can arrange to see you separately.

Synopsis

Eck (Hector) has a great day ahead of him. He’s got an interview with BBC Scotland, that he’s going to breeze, followed by a hot date with the lovely Roseanne. But then his father, Willie, turns up and Eck literally cannot get away from him. What complicates the situation is that Willie is ten years dead!

Characters:

Eck: Mid twenties. Trendy aspiring Scottish media type, currently unemployed

Willie: Age around 50’s. A dead hoover salesman dressed in a loud, flared seventies suit, with a tacky wide seventies haircut, including big sideburns. He is both cheery and dour.

“an amateur production by arrangement with Nick Hern Books”

Bookham Light Operatic Society Presents: Fiddler on the Roof

Book by JOSEPH STEIN

Music by JERRY BOCK

Lyrics by SHELDON HARNICK

Original Direction and Choreography by JEROME ROBBINS

Produced on the New York stage by Harold Prince

Based on the Sholem Aleichem stories by special permission of Arnold Perl

Fiddler on the Roof is presented through special arrangement with Music Theatre International. (MTI)

All authorized performance materials are also supplied by www.mtishows.co.uk

Performances: Wednesday 21st to Saturday 24th May at 7.30pm and Saturday 24th May at 2.30pm

Tickets: Adults £19, Children under 16 £12

The original 1964 Broadway production won nine Tony awards including Best Musical and the 1971 film, starring Topol, became the highest grossing movie of that year.

The story centers on Tevye, a milkman in the village of Anatevka, who attempts to maintain his Jewish religious and cultural traditions as outside influences encroach upon his family’s lives.

This show is packed with memorable and uplifting songs, including “Tradition”, “If I Were a Rich Man”, “Matchmaker” and the hauntingly beautiful “Sunrise, Sunset”.

Sing-A-Long Cinema: Grease

Saturday 5th April at 7.30pm

Tickets: Adults £12, Children £10

Film shown with song words for everyone to join in !

Sing-A Long Cinema: Frozen

Saturday 22nd February at 3.30 pm

Tickets: Adults £12, Children £9

Film shown with song lyrics for the whole audience to sing along!

A Bunch of Amateurs by Ian Hislop and Nick Newman

From an original story by Jonathon Gershfield and John Ross

Directed by Anthony Kemp

Tues 29th April to Sat 3rd May

Tickets: Adults £15, Children/Students £12

Fading Hollywood actor Jefferson Steele arrives in England to play King Lear in Stratford. Unfortunately, it is Stratford in a sleepy Suffolk village and home of the Stratford players, a struggling am dram group trying to save their theatre from developers. This hilarious comedy is co written by Ian Hislop from Private eye and co writer of Spitting Image and Nick Newman.

This amateur production of “A Bunch of Amateurs” is presented by arrangement with Concord Theatricals Ltd. On behalf of Samuel French Ltd. www.concordtheatricals.co.uk

Blue Fire Theatre Co Present: The Diary of A Nobody

by George and Weedon Grossmith

Adapted by Tim Shaw

Friday 31st Jan at 7.30pm

Tickets £15

Step into the whimsical world of Charles Pooter, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary!

Follow the hilarious mundane misadventures of a man who navigates the ups and downs of subarbia with a touch of comedic flair. Discover how the simple moments in life can spark laughter, reflection and a deeper connection to our own quirks

A Double Bill in The Studio

Tuesday 12th to Saturday 16th November at 7.45 pm

Tickets £13

Cell Mates by Mark Seaman Directed by Iain Macfarlane

In “Cell Mates” young Terry Cole is entering the prison system for the first time. His youthful swagger is tempered by his apprehension about what lies ahead. His meeting with cell mate George Reynolds, who is serving a sentence for murder, has a profound effect upon him.

“By Arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts”

The Act of Living by Robert Scott Directed by Iain Macfarlane

In this moving play we encounter Tom and Evelyn who first met in 1942 when they were children during the war, and see how their relationship grew and changed. As an old man in 2013, Tom looks back across the years to re-live their time together

“By Arrangement with Lazy Bee Scripts”

To Celebrate 90 years of The Nomads, come to our OPEN DAY

Saturday 12th October, Tours at 12, 2pm, 4pm

Entry is free but please book a space on the tour

Experience the magic of theatre, learn about our history. Get hands on with lighting, Sound and Video.

The revolve will be in action and there will be displays of props, costumes , scenery and make up. The bar will be open to chat to members

Horsley Live Music Club Presents:

An Evening with Slim Chance: Only 1 ticket left

Friday 1st November at 7.45pm

Tickets £25 plus booking fee

Founded by the great Ronnie Lane after he left the Faces, Slim Chance is still going strong, redefining rock and roll and continuing to live up to their name as the ultimate good-time band. The show features many of Ronnie’s classic songs – including Ooh la la, How Come and The Poacher plus a few surprises – a rare mix of bonhomie and fine musicianship.

The band now regularly performs as a quintet, including original members Steve Bingham and Charlie Hart, with fine support from some of the UK’s finest musicans – Geraint Watkins, Frank Mead and Jim Russell or Brendan O’Neill. The band came together (‘reformed and unrepentant’) back in 2010 following the successful 2004 Albert Hall Ronnie Lane commemoration concert.  Since that time they have played extensively round the country and released five albums, the latest of which was recorded ‘live’ in Sheffield earlier in 2024.

THE LEGACY OF RONNIE LANE
Whether it was working with the Small Faces, The Faces and Rod Stewart, or touring with his own travelling rock ‘n’ roll circus, The Passing Show, Ronnie Lane was a one-of-a-kind musician and songwriter. He embarked on the last stage of his career shortly after leaving the Faces, forming the band Slim Chance, writing some of his finest songs and recording several remarkable albums. Sadly, Ronnie passed away in 1997 – but the band plays on.

Bookham Light Operatic Society Presents:

Iolanthe By W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan

Directed by Keith White, MD Roger Wilman, Choreographer Gill Eve

Thursday 24th October to Saturday 26th October at 7.30pm & Saturday 26th October at 2.30pm

Tickets: Adults £16, Under 16’s £12

Strephon is half a fairy, engaged to Phyllis, a ward of court. He hasn’t told her of his fairyhood less it frighten her. Alas she sees him with a young girl, actually his mother as fairies never grow old, and heartbroken, she decides to marry one of two elderly baronets instead! As in true Gilbert and Sullivan fashion it all gets sorted out but with a lot of laughter, some tears and a Nightmare song along the way

HLMC is proud to present this superb tribute to the music of Steely Dan, Simply Dan an 11 piece band of top London session musicians.

Saturday 5th October

Tickets £30 plus booking fee

Doors open 7pm, show starts at 7.45pm

Audition Notice: Goldilocks and the Three Bears by tlc creatives

Directed by Michael Ayres and Samantha Potten

Audition Date: 16 July at 7.30pm

Performance dates Dec 10th to Dec 14th

If you would like to audition please contact Moyra on [email protected]

Characters

Goldilocks: Our heroine Female

Tomtom: A piper’s son Female (principal boy)

Anutie Septic: Aunt to Goldilocks and mother to Ray (Panto Dame) Male

Ray: Dim witted son of Anti septic, The comedy link man Male or female

Splinter: A royal woodsman: not very bright Male or Female

Choppit: Another Royal woodsman even dafter, Male or Female

Daddy Bear: Father of the bear family Male

Mummy Bear: Mother of the bear family Female

Babby bear; youngster of the bear family Male or Female

Queen Bee: The villain A wicked bee with dreams of woodland domination Female

Bee Minions, Male/Female

Kevin the wasp

Chorus of Villagers and dancers

Horsley Live Music Club Presents: Never The Bride

Saturday August 17th 2024. Doors open 7pm, Show starts 7.45, Show finishes 10.15

Tickets £25 plus booking fee.Advance tickets only, No concessions, No refunds

Horsley Live Music Club is proud to present Never The Bride –  true rock and roll royalty. A female-led rock band with amazing credentials, they have amazed and floored audiences, peer groups and critics alike over their 25 years of service.